Dealing With Depression, Mental Health

Dealing With Depression, Mental Health

Hey guys!

This video was REALLY hard to make, and even harder to edit. I’m really scared to share it, but with the holidays coming up I know a lot of people who deal with or have dealt with depression are triggered. I’ve never openly talked about or shared my experience with depression, but I’ve been feeling lately that I should share with you guys my experience in the hopes that I can help someone out there dealing with it.

I really hope this video helps someone! If you have or know any helpful sites or sources for people dealing with mental illnesses please leave them in the comments and remember to be kind.

I love you xx CYD

FOLLOW ME — Become a BEAN!
↣ Instagram –
↣ Twitter –
↣ SnapChat – @CydBee
↣ Facebook –
Gorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation
MAC Prolongwear Concealer
Too Faced Born This Way Concealer
Beauty Bakerie Yellow Setting Power
Jaclyn Hill x Morhpe Pallete
NARS Contour Blush
Bite Beauty Agave Lip Balm
Ardell Wispie Lashes
↣ Camera – Lumix GH4
↣ Editing – Final Cut Pro X

↣ Are your eyes real?
Yes, they are naturally blue, with brown spots.

↣ What is your race/ethnicity?
I am African American/Black

↣ What is your Foundation color?
In MAC foundation I wear NW45 or NC50.
FTC: this video is NOT sponsored.


Share this post

Comments (31)

  • The Hippy Ameliaa Reply

    National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

    TrevorLifeline for LGBT folx: 1-866-488-7386

    TransLifeline US: 877-565-8860
    TransLifeline CA: 877-330-6366

    If you’re feeling Depressed or having Suicidal thoughts, Please, reach out and talk to someone.
    You’re loved and cared for more than you know.
    You are worth this life.
    You Matter. 💜

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Kay Shennel Reply

    Followed for the makeup tutorials, staying for your personality, mindset and overall amazing content! Love these types of vids, Cyd! 💛💛💛

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Lakeshia Cole Reply

    Thank you.. 💙

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Deborah R Finkelman Reply

    Just wanted to say even though I have zero interest in makeup and hair, I’ve spent the last two hours watching your videos. Thank you for sharing and for caring. When you mentioned wanting to do more to help people than just makeup tutorials it reminded me of another woman in LA who is doing more and would probably be happy for the help of a fellow beauty and hair expert

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Erikka Kartak Reply

    Hearing you talk about this is like listening to you read a book I wrote about my life. The similarities between us are stark. On one hand I feel better because I’m not alone, which is something you hear all the time but it doesn’t resonate until someone describes everything you go through. I am in therapy but I don’t talk about these things, I talk about other things. I am an addict in recovery where I have been for 9 months and I feel like the ADD and the depression have so much to do with my addiction issues. The suicidal thoughts, all that. It’s scary. I’m gonna bring this up at my next session.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Cal .W Reply

    8 minutes in & im crying right now. I think about my suicide everyday to the point where it’s become normal for me, like when someone talks about plans for next year, I keep thinking I won’t even be here next year (I planned my suicide for jun 8, 2020) & so in my mind this is my death date. Even if I’m having a normal day with family, or friends, I’ll still research ‘what does it feel like to die’ I’ll plan what’s possible to do on my bucket list before I kill my self, I’m comfortable with the method I chose etc. And I completely normalised it. But actually hearing your experience & opening up & how you didn’t even realise it was an issue at first, really awoke something in me. Maybe I should talk to someone, maybe these thoughts aren’t normal. Thanks for making this video 😊, ok I’m gonna keep watching now.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Emeka Chizzy Reply

    Great message Cyndee! Big hug from London 🤗

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • teewas bou Reply

    You are so relatable

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • NessasBeauty Reply

    Good is with you sis 🙏🏾

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Daisy Jones Reply

    And then for people to push you away like your spirit just doesn’t sit well with them, that burdened me and it hurt deep down in my soul. I’m frustrated and angry at this

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • RoxStew5 Reply

    You are so awesome! Thank you for this radical honesty! I love this! Subbing!!!

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Jassybeauty22 Reply

    you’re so strong for this video and you’re not alone! talking openly like this can help so many people thank you ❤️

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Jamin Anderson Reply

    I relate so much to this. Especially the adult ADD.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Nicholette Amanda Reply

    Really enjoyed watching this. Thank you Cydnee ❤️

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Missy Bailey Reply

    I definitely know how U feel. I went through the same depression, short of the suicidal thoughts, apprx 3 years ago. It was something that snuck up on me & took me by surprised. I didn't want to leave my house, be around people & loss a great deal of weight. I had no desire to get out of bed or even get dressed for the day. I was just a sad case. It was unexplainable. I came out of it by praying, working out & making myself do things my mind told me not to & taking it one day at a time with God's help. I pray to never experience the sunken place again. I love your transparency. U'd never think someone with your beauty & accomplishments would be going through such mental illness, but I'm glad U sought help & that I finally found your channel. Stay well & beautiful, from the inside out 💋

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Beauty by Ciera Reply

    You are a beautiful person. I too deal with a lot of mental illness & you’re very right, depression can really make you grateful for the simple things & it’s great that we can take something good from something that feels so bad

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Rebecca Tackie Reply

    I've never related to anything more than this video. I was crying right along with you lol. I really relate with you not wanting to be dependent on medication to feel normal or happy or to have regular emotions. This video helped me come to terms with the fact that I need to get back on my medication

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Maria Kendi Reply

    I'm so proud of you for sharing this with us!

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • francine hughley Reply

    literally cried watching this whole video. everything you said explains how im feeling now and how I often feel. I've been struggle with depression since childhood, I never knew why I always felt sad as a child. I always feel the need to help others while im broken myself. Im so scared to take meds but I think thats probably whats best. ill be seeking professional help because depression takes over my life. I often feel very empty. The things that I love doing, I can't seem to find the strength to do it. thank you so much for sharing your story. I don't feel as alone now. ❤️❤️

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am

    My dear watching this hits close to home so much. One thing I can tell you is the thoughts that come to your are NOT your own. Seek GOD, ask the LORD JESUS CHRIST TO BE YOUR LORD and allow him to guide you with his HOLY SPIRIT. HE is the only answer. I pray you will get better with each new day.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Janelle Gordon Reply

    I need help. Please help.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Jacqueline Jones Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing. It made me feel so much less different. And I've been wanting more control over it but this helps me to not feel ashamed for not being able to control it all the time.

    I can really see a difference in you from when I first started watching you and you do seem way more well rounded and warmer and even happier.

    I'm glad the nurse truly helped you becasue I've been afraid of seeking help from others and have been working on it on my own and self medicating.

    I truly apprciate you for this Cydnee. Like, truly truly <3

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • 1sweetmess Reply

    I'm just seeing this and it is crazy how much I relate to this. I have ADD and then was diagnosed with seasonal affective depressive disorder, which lasted longer than the seasonal time. I had been on meds for my ADD for a long time. I finally went to the doctor and my doctor said that I needed to increase my dosage because I was having side effects- the depression, mood swings, and a few other things I thought was normal. One thing they said is our bodies get used to it and quit producing natural dopamines and serotonin- which is what makes us naturally happy. I wanted to quit and try to live normally without it and it was extremely hard. I dont mean to put negativity out there, but hearing oh if you just try and not think about it- made me feel like I wanted to burst. Things like that made me want to stay at home. It is hard to talk about because it feels like not everyone is going to understand and even though I come across with the I dont care attitude, I care a lot. Deeply about what certain people say and how they say things. I am grateful for days of when I do feel good and don't have bad days. I'm glad you posted this and I saw it. It really helped me open my eyes and actually speak on my mental health- that I don't talk about enough of.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Angela Marshall Reply

    I truly truly feel your pain, remember you are a child of God and you are beautiful.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Ernestine Ernie Reply

    You are beautiful! I also think knowing that God has your back and trusting that the challenges will work out in the end. We go through things that we are meant to experience. Always believe that the outcome will be positive. Your sharing has helped others. Thank you, for sharing!

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Donnisha Latrice Reply

    Thank you for sharing… I feel just like this right now. I’ve started therapy but I still haven’t made any head way… thank you for sharing it helps put words to how I’m feeling and put a reference point for others

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Lizzy Wonder Reply

    Couldn't get through the video but I appreciate the courage you had to post this

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • CocoaKisses247 Reply

    Love this video and I love your courage. Thank you

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Kiki Dejean Reply

    Such a powerful video.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Angel Aguilar Reply

    Love you Cyd!!! 💓 Thank you so much for posting this video! I know from experience how acidic & hateful & uninformed the backlash can be when talking openly about your depression, especially when it has elements of suicidal ideation. This was a super brave move.

    Seeing someone as put together & talented & beautiful as you going through this, and being so genuine about it, gives me hope that maybe it will be ok, and maybe I'm not worthless for experiencing the same thing.

    Also, props for mentioning how adult ADD contributes to worsening the depressive symptoms. Distractibility can also be a symptom of depression and other low-dopamine conditions, and it only serves to compound things.

    Great video lady!

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am
  • Amaya Rogers Reply

    I'm so grateful for you bc as a young black girl struggling with mental health you have made me see I'm not alone. Here I know that someone actually understands. I'll continue to fight and just thank you.

    June 6, 2019 at 6:56 am

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *